How to Discipline Your Child

Description

Three points of view-parent's, therapist's, and child's-make this the most practical guide on the market for raising a child with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder or other behavioral issues.Traditional parenting and discipline books aren't effective for parents who are dealing with kids with ADHD, OCD, depression or other disorders. They need a guide that will help them with the unique discipline and organization challenges kids with these issues have. When getting up, going to school, completing homework, helping with chores, and getting to bed all become battlegrounds, the step-by-step proven techniques presented here will help parents achieve peace in their households. It will teach parents how to:¥ Engage in proactive, not reactive, parenting¥ Discipline consistently and effectively¥ Deal with stalling, forgetting, overreacting, and other everyday behavior problems¥ Work with a child's teachers, and more.

Reviews

A wonderful resource for parenting ideas

by Amy from Upstate NY on 2001-06-30
This is one of the best parenting books I have read. Don't let the title dissuade you from thinking that this book is only for families with ADHD children. It provides many ideas for organizing and structuring family life to reduce stress and lower the amount of yelling. The ideas are constructive and positive while the roles of punishment and negative re-enforcement are minimalized. A few of the ideas Sharon Weiss, the second author, gave me helped with getting my children to do their chores and teaching them how to structure their time so homework, getting out of the house in the morning and bedtime are not so laborous and time intensive. The ideas presented are helpful for younger age children not yet able to read to teenager.

These techniques really work!

by Susan Biggs from Fairfax, VA United States on 2001-06-12
As an educational therapist and parent of two children, I found this book to be helpful both for my clients and my family. The ideas make sense and implementing them is straight-forward. I tried several of the ideas at home to see if they are easier than they sound...wow...instant changes in problem behaviors! For example, my four year old would not stay in bed at bedtime. Offering her an incentive (5 pennies if she stayed in bed), and a consequence (lose a penny for each time out of bed) stopped the behavior in one night. 90 minutes of arguing to zero on the first try. I highly recommend this book to parents of easy and not so easy kids.

Description

Kids with ADHD need to be loved and shown how to become successful adults. Unfortunately, their lack of attention and restlessness often get in the way. Parents of these kids try so hard to stay connected and remain patient in the face of daily frustration. However, it is an incredible challenge to remain positive and involved when your child does not respond to the kinds of strategies that work for other children. Without guidance and systematic treatment, these bright, inquisitive children are unlikely to graduate from high school, are more prone to use illegal drugs, and struggle to maintain employment as adults. Parenting Children with ADHD: Lessons That Medicine Cannot Teach gives parents a framework for building a successful parenting program at home. Drawing from his experiences in evaluating and treating thousands of children and teens with ADHD, Vincent Monastra presents a series of ten lessons that are essential for promoting the success of kids with ADHD. In simple language, Monastra explains the causes of ADHD and how nutrition, medication and certain therapeutic procedures can improve attention, concentration, and behavioral control. Recognizing the importance of school success, Monastra also reviews the educational rights of children with ADHD and outlines a process for working with school districts to get your child the help they need. Beyond this foundation, Monastra describes non-confrontational ways to teach your child essential life skills like organization, problem-solving, and emotional control. Through guiding principles like "Work for Play" and "Time Stands Still", Monastra ends the struggle for control and helps children learn that in life you need to "earn your play" and apologise and "make amends" when you do something that hurts another person (or makes their life more difficult).

Reviews

Best of the ADHD books - read this one first

by Jennifer Koch from Flemington, NJ United States on 2006-08-03
This book is a winner. I have bought and read many different books on ADHD - from all perspectives - and I like this one the best. It is balanced on the medication issue, with accurate and well-researched medical explanations of the benefits and shortcomings. The title makes it seem anti-medication but the author does recommend medication (with certain caveats, and easy-to-understand explanations of the reasons it may not work well in some individuals), so don't be put off by this if your child is on medication. His goal is to go beyond a simple prescription to give the parent other helpful information that can provide a well-rounded approach to helping their ADHD child. The book is very practical, with questionnaires, checklists, or homework at the end of each chapter. If you are new to this topic, buy this one first. If you are a veteran but need more tips on how to help your child, this book still has plenty to offer you.

Great Information For Parents With an ADHD Child

by CJS from Florida on 2004-12-14
I have over 100 books on this subject and try read anything that will help my ADHD son. The old saying an informed consumer comes true with this disease. You are your child's own best advocate. Within this book I found some very helpful information I have not read before particularly with respect to diet and protein. The book offers some wonderful checklists for medication monitoring as well as guideline lists for 504 plans. It is written in clear concise language. I can tell you it has become a bible in my library of ADHD books. Kudos Dr. Monastra for putting some new light and useful information on this disease!

Description

What′s an explosive child? A child who responds to routine problems with extreme frustration-crying, screaming, swearing, kicking, hitting, biting, spitting, destroying property, and worse. A child whose frequent, severe outbursts leave his or her parents feeling frustrated, scared, worried, and desperate for help. Most of these parents have tried everything-reasoning, explaining, punishing, sticker charts, therapy, medication-but to no avail. They can′t figure out why their child acts the way he or she does; they wonder why the strategies that work for other kids don′t work for theirs; and they don′t know what to do instead. Dr. Ross Greene, a distinguished clinician and pioneer in the treatment of kids with social, emotional, and behavioral challenges, has worked with thousands of explosive children, and he has good news: these kids aren′t attention-seeking, manipulative, or unmotivated, and their parents aren′t passive, permissive pushovers. Rather, explosive kids are lacking some crucial skills in the domains of flexibility/adaptability, frustration tolerance, and problem solving, and they require a different approach to parenting. Throughout this compassionate, insightful, and practical book, Dr. Greene provides a new conceptual framework for understanding their difficulties, based on research in the neurosciences. He explains why traditional parenting and treatment often don′t work with these children, and he describes what to do instead. Instead of relying on rewarding and punishing, Dr. Greene′s Collaborative Problem Solving model promotes working with explosive children to solve the problems that precipitate explosive episodes, and teaching these kids the skills they lack.

Flexibility and tolerance are learned skills, as any parent knows if they've seen an irascible 2-year-old grow into a pleasant, thoughtful, and considerate older child. Unfortunately, for reasons that are poorly understood, a few children don't "get" this part of socialization. Years after toddler tantrums should have become an unpleasant memory, a few unlucky parents find themselves battling with sudden, inexplicable, disturbingly violent rages--along with crushing guilt about what they "did wrong." Medical experts haven't helped much: the flurry of acronyms and labels (Tourette's, ADHD, ADD, etc.) seems to proffer new discoveries about the causes of such explosions, when in fact the only new development is alternative vocabulary to describe the effects. Ross Greene, a pediatric psychologist who also teaches at Harvard Medical School, makes a bold and humane attempt in this book to cut through the blather and speak directly to the (usually desperate) parents of explosive children. His text is long and serious, and has the advantage of covering an enormous amount of ground with nuance, detail, and sympathy, but also perhaps the disadvantage that only those parents who are not chronically tired and time-deprived are likely to get through the entire book. Quoted dialogue from actual sessions with parents and children is interspersed with analysis that is always oriented toward understanding the origins of "meltdowns" and developing workable strategies for avoidance. Although pharmacological treatment is not the book's focus, there is a chapter on drug therapies. --Richard Farr

Reviews

Finally, peace in our household

by Deanna Foster, djfoster@flash.net from Portola Valley, California US on 1998-12-15
After years of reading books on "strong-willed" or "difficult" children... and years of psychotherapy, Dr. Greene's fresh approach to what seemed an unsolvable problem has brought peace to our household for the first time in 8 years. I have bought a copy of this book for everyone that deals with my 10-year-old son: my parents, his teacher, his previous teacher, and the County Mental Health worker who is working with us on in-home behavior modification. I was very sceptical when I first learned of Dr. Greene's approach-- it sounded too easy ! But it truly, truly works.Dr. Greene put into words what I had always known about my child, but couldn't express cohesively. My son used to have several "melt-downs" each week, and I always wondered how much control he had over his own behavior and emotions. Now I know the answer, and also can recognize the various stages of escalation leading up to a rage episode. Applying Dr. Greene's "basket" principles, we haven't had a melt-down in 3 weeks, and my son's cooperation with our "basket A" and "basket B" requests is fantastic. No more melt-downs, no more frustrated adults. We actually have hope for a brighter future. Even school is going really, really well.Many thanks to Dr. Greene for giving us an alternative to manage our "inflexible, explosive" (but lovable) children !

Buy this book!

by Sherrilee from Detroit, MI on 1999-12-26
As a teacher of children with behavioral and emotional disorders, I found Greene's book extremely useful. In the first part of the book, he explores inflexibility and explosiveness in children (and biological/chemical factors influencing such behavior.) This section alone is worth its weight in gold for helping parents and teachers take a closer look at what's going on with their kids.The rest of the book is devoted to his "three basket" intervention method. I am beginning to use this technique in my classroom to help avoid "meltdowns" over issues that really aren't important and to help TEACH my students how to negotiate and cope in frustrating situations. I want my students to become more flexible not just because it makes it easier on me in the classroom; they'll be happier and less frustrated in school, at home, and out in the world.I've recommended this book to many parents and colleagues.

Description

As a parent, you face one of the most challenging—and rewarding—roles of your life. No matter how much you love your child, there will still be moments filled with anger, frustration, and, at times, desperation. What do you do? Over the years, millions of parents just like you have come to trust the Positive Discipline series for its consistent, commonsense approach to child rearing. In this completely updated edition of Positive Discipline A–Z, you will learn how to use methods to raise a child who is responsible, respectful, and resourceful. You’ll find practical solutions to such parenting challenges as:- Sibling Rivalry - Bedtime Hassles - School Problems - Getting Chores Done - ADHD ·Eating Problems - Procrastination - Whining - Tattling and Lying - Homework Battles - And Dozens More!This newly revised and expanded third edition contains up-to-the-minute information on sleeping through the night, back talk, and lack of motivation as well as tips on diet, exercise, and obesity prevention, and new approaches to parenting in the age of computers and cell phones.

The first edition of Positive Discipline A-Z became a classic child-rearing text that helped change the way parents and experts feel about discipline. In this revised and expanded version, child psychologist Jane Nelson (coauthor of the entire Positive Discipline series) teams up with speaker and therapist Lynn Lott and H. Stephen Glenn (Raising Self-Reliant Children). Positive Discipline is based on the theories of child development expert Rudolf Dreikurs, and uses communication, consistency, and specific techniques (such as the four-step follow-through method, taking time for training, giving age-appropriate chores to teach responsibility, and using positive time-outs in which the child takes some time with a calming activity) to help children develop the life skills they need to be "effective, happy, contributing, and respectful members of the family and society." The first part of the text provides an introduction to the concept of positive discipline and its tools. The second part of the book is an alphabetical breakdown of more than 100 child-rearing topics, from addiction to zits--including cruelty to animals, fairness, laundry, negative children, pampering, self-esteem, tattling, whining, and much more. Here, the authors move from general theory to specific suggestions and approaches for hard-core parenting issues. Whether read for theory or read for specificity, this book is terrific--and important. --Ericka Lutz

Reviews

Great book

by N. Lee from Colorado on 2005-01-25
This is not a parenting style or system for everyone. With all parenting books, you must pick and choose, taking what you like and leaving the rest. I have read other "discipline" books, most of which are very different from this one, and I have learned things from everything I have read. However, this is one of the few books that resonated with me. I noticed that many parents (present company included) didn't enjoy disciplining their kids. As parents, it is easy to become locked in power struggles with our kids. Based on my observations, I was looking for a book that endorsed a less punitive and more egalitarian approach to the disciplining and training of children. This book approaches disciplining as character-building. In other words, the goal of discipline is to "build up" a child, instead of pushing or even shaming a child into behaving a certain way. There are many important messages in this book, several of which are: balance firmness with kindness; watch what messages your actions and words are sending to your kids; don't expect too much or too little from your child, developmentally; and disciplinary consequences should be related, respectful, and reasonable. Part One gives a good overview of the authors' approach, as well as a concise explanation of pertinent topics such as the roots of poor self-esteem and acting out in anger. Sometimes there was a "cliff notes" feel to this section, but that was OK because Part Two seemed to be the "meat" of the book. My degree is in psychology, so I can say with confidence that this section was based on solid psychology, albeit particular branch(es) of psychology. If you look at parenting as a two-way transformative process, you will learn something about yourself through this section. Part Two is the "A to Z" part of the book. There are many helpful tips on a wide range of discipline issues. The authors emphasize verbal reasoning and consensus-building. They offer suggestions about more physical forms of discipline, but they do not recommend spanking. One note to the prospective buyer: this book is geared toward the older toddler and up (most of the time, the suggestions begin at 2 years of age). There are companion books for 0-3 years and teenagers, so if your kids fall into those categories, you might want to look at the other books as well.

I use this book in the classroom

by from Allah on 2000-08-16
I make sure my student's parents have this book when they arrive in class! This book is like a dictonary for parents! A-Z literally, each alphabet has a few chapters dedicated to the most common problems parents and teachers face.Why is this book so helpful? 1)It guided me to the rehlm of a child's thinking pattern 2)It helped me involve my student's in my own thinking pattern 3)It offers solutions!The solutions are easy to apply, with work of course, and are realistic. I left the book with one main idea..that is..Its all about the attitude. How much do you want to change your habits and work on them? So your children, neices, nephews ect.. will notice the "reaction" you offer them and they will change too based on the descions you decide to present to them! (With action of course)This book is easy to read, wonderful to share, and both mommy and daddy should read it together and involve the whole family in providing a secure, loving and peaceful home!

Description

Parents spend so much time and energy trying to make their children behave, you would think they would have a deliberate, thought-out system for accomplishing this goal. Most parents, however, lament?? that not only do they not have a?? pre-determined plan, but that the "method" most of them use, punishment, doesn't?? seem to do the trick and it is very unpleasant to administer. It seems that the majority of parents simply don't know any other way to manage bad behavior in their children, so they resort to what their parents did with them--traditional punishment. In his groundbreaking new book, Dr. John Maag explains that the problem with punishment is that it simply doesn't work. It is always contingent on a child's bad behavior, it is based on principles of negative reinforcement and it is always reactive--in other words, a recipe for disaster. In its place, Dr. Maag suggests that parents try his method a proactive approach that focuses on emphasizing and encouraging a child's good behavior rather than trying to decrease his bad behavior. In addition, Dr. Maag suggests using such bad behavior as a focal point for determining which behaviors need to be changed. Although this might seem obvious, it s much more complicated than one would expect. Neither radical nor far-fetched, Maag's system, based on traditional applied behavior analysis techniques, is completely sensible and effective. Step-by-step directions, practical examples, fill-in charts and questionnaires show parents how to effectively manage a wide range of problem behaviors in their children, from minor problems to depression and attention deficit disorder (ADD) Maag's method stresses consistency and positive reinforcement that will shape a child's behavior far more profoundly than will punishment. Filling a long-standing need, Parenting Without Punishment will help parents and teachers promote responsible, independent, creative and secure future adults.

Reviews

A practical guide for changing a parent's behavior.

by NICK G from Philadelphia, PA United States on 2001-09-26
:I am surprised that the principles in the book are not more commonly used by educators. Clear and practical information and guidelines cover every page.:Many of the behavioral modifications recommended by Dr. Maag don't just work in our interaction with our kids, they also work quite well with adults. :Probably the most interesting benefit I got from the book has been the opportunity to alter my own behavior, which, in turn, made a world of difference in helping our daughter to alter hers.:Highly recommended reading for parents, educators and for anyone looking to find different, more effective ways of dealing with others and with our own imprinted habits. An open mind is required for the readers of this book to gain any noticeable benefit.

Finally! Why time outs don't usually work

by Allison D from Tucson, AZ United States on 2004-08-06
I learned about this book in a forum on Positive Parenting, and put it on my Amazon wish list. I found it under the Christmas tree when my son was 2 and I've been following the advice in it ever since. Large stretches of this book apply to older children, so I don't feel qualified to comment on those subjects yet (my son is 3 1/2). But the crux of the book is how to identify and isolate a behavior that you want to change. It is such a basic concept and yet so many parenting books fail to explain this. Rather than label your child as "sloppy," identify what you specifically have a problem with (e.g. leaving clothes on the floor). Then you can work with the child to change the behavior. A variety of methods are suggested. These are contrasted against punitive methods that often fail to do much more than demand immediate attention and often lead to children attempting to subvert the rules without understanding them. Maag's discussion about "time outs," the most often suggested and most often misused form of discipline these days, is exceptional. When I read this part of the book, I immediately lost patience for all the experts and unsolicited advice-givers who seem to gush about this form of discipline. The purpose of the "time out," according to Maag, is to remove a child from a situation where he/she is getting negative attention. Used as a punishment, time outs do not end the misbehavior or address the underlying causes of the misbehavior. If a child is doing something just for the negative attention, removing the child to a new environment or simply removing your attention will end the cycle. Parents who angrily walk their kids to a chair in the corner whenever the child blows milk bubbles are giving the child the attention he craves. Because so much of misbehavior is not due to a child trying to get negative attention, Maag contends that time outs are of limited utility. Their use as punishments do not help a child develop self control and may instead perpetuate attempts by the child to get away with things known to be wrong. The actual problem-solving advice given by Maag centers on identifying a problem behavior, discussing your expectations with the child, coming to an agreement, and rewarding progress toward ending the behavior. Therefore, it does not apply to babies or toddlers who are too young to understand the consequences of their actions. It may sound a little to good to be true, and it probably is for people who don't want to put the time or effort into making gradual (and hopefully permanent) changes in a child's behavior. However, I've put the author's philosophy into practice and have been much more relaxed about parenting ever since. I also have a very well-behaved child and can spend quality time with him rather than fighting him at every step.