Tips For Discipline Help

March 7th, 2010

Parents need to learn how to effectively discipline their children if they want them to grow and develop into respectful and responsible adults. Discipline is not the same as punishment; however, instead it has more to do more with teaching your child right from wrong, how to respect rules and boundaries, and which behaviors are acceptable and which are not. The goal of discipline is to help children feel secure, self-confident, empowered, and to learn how to control their impulses.

If you are having trouble disciplining your child and are searching for discipline help, it is important to remember that there are many different discipline techniques and no one method is right for every child. Every child is different and has a different temperament as well as a different developmental level. Because of these differences the style of discipline that works best for one child may not work with yours.

Important tips for discipline help:

Always be consistent with your discipline methods and follow through with punishments and consequences. It is normal for children to test the limits, and if there is inconsistency within the limits or between parents children will be encouraged to misbehave.

It is important to stay calm and avoid yelling and screaming because children learn that getting angry and acting out is a good way to deal with problems.

Avoid criticizing or putting down your child when they do something wrong. Children with self-confidence are more likely to make good choices so always explain what your child did wrong without attacking them personally or putting them down. Make sure your child understands that you are unhappy with the misbehavior and not with them.

Use praise when it is appropriate and when your child does something right, but do not over use it. Praising our child too much or for routine activities makes praise less effective.

Spanking is a controversial discipline method which some parents use and others avoid. Physical punishment including ******** has never been shown to be more effective than other types of punishment and can make children more aggressive by teaching them that violence is a way to deal with problems.

One of the most important things to remember when it comes to discipline is to be a good role model. Children learn the most by observing the actions of those around them and react to situations and learn how to react to problems by mimicking the actions of their parents.

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How do you deal with others disciplining your children?

February 10th, 2010
just me and you asked:

I have a 2 year old daughter, who i could say has been spoiled. she is a only child and the first grand DAUGHTER…she was born with a hole in her heart so everyone babied her. She is extremely smart and picks up everything you say… even the bad things. She has been repeating curse words that she hears family members say and always seems to say them at the wrong time.
I was out to dinner with my mom and my daughter, while eating my daughter became restless and wanted to play, my mom tried to restrain her and calm her down and after a fee minutes became so frustrated that she slapped my daughter across the face, and told her to sit down.
I flew off the handle. I believe in disciplining but there is a time and a place. Now i am being accused of being a bad mother because i become defensive when my mom hits my child! I thought she was way out of line? Am i wrong? Am i just being over protective??
HELP!!!

manboobs

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How do you believe in disciplining your children?

February 8th, 2010
Babeh~Doll asked:

How do you correct wrongdoings in your children? Time outs? Naughty step? a smack? Not adopting any new methods here, just wondering what other parents do these days.

rid of man boobs

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Child Care – 3 Points That Make It Imperative!

February 7th, 2010

With the rule of society changing to make way for smaller families that live away from their own families and friend’s groups or known communities like those existing in small-towns or rural settings that often have family elders or older siblings looking after the younger lot, there is a need for good childcare facilities that daycare centers springing up everywhere hope to provide. Not only do working moms and dads benefit from sending their kids to quality daycare, but even those recuperating from an illness or those attending to medical emergencies in the family also find a way to meet child-rearing challenges in a child-safe environment that the daycares of today provide.

1. Thus, with baby boomers showing the way for independent thinking and living even post-retirement and having been the kids that go out there and ‘just do it’ – there is loads of encouragement for kids to become independent of parental support at an early age; there are fewer stay at home moms and many single parents that make it necessary for more children now than ever before to be placed in daycare so they are not latch-key kids, like the ’80’s had. With so many instances of sex-offenders on the prowl for innocent kids, staying home alone is not a viable option and daycares provide qualified, trained staff focused on keeping children safe, happy and out of danger while learning new skills and activities besides seeing to their timely meals and rest, so are a good bet for many parents.

2. For those parents that cannot afford or find a suitable in-house babysitter or caregiver, daycare provides the best alternative for placing their child in safe, capable hands and a kids-friendly community where they learn to get along with other kids. Daycare options are a-plenty with variable fee-costs that make it an affordable and convenient option, not to mention safe and comfortable kids-friendly environment to learn and socialize in, for many parents; from full-daycare to part-time services to even week-end options, there are all kinds of daycares abounding! For pre-schoolers, there’s the option of after-school only daycare (3-5 hours) and for babies or toddlers, many a time one parent or the other may juggle work-load and shifts to be around so it may only be part-time daycare required, which makes it possible for parents to always follow every important milestone in the child’s life.

3. Instead of just watching TV or eating junk-food or perhaps putting themselves in danger when left alone without adult supervision at home, children are better off at daycares that provide a host of all-round child development facilities apart from full-time trained staff attending to children’s needs, right from healthcare to playtime and medical emergencies. You can choose to volunteer a few hours a week to make the transition from a home environment to a community one easier on your child or pay surprise visits to spend extra quality time with your precious one; this will allow you to know the real functioning of the daycare center and allow you to bond with your child.

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Three Ways to Handle Your Child throwing a Tantrum in Public

February 2nd, 2010

Picture this, a ubiquitous cashier’s counter at a grocery store.  A mother and her young child (let’s go with five years of age), have pulled up with their shopping cart by the cashier’s counter.  As the cashier begins ringing up the mother’s items, the child spots an assortment of candy bars on the shelf to his right, and he immediately picks one out. The mother is on to him, and she instructs him to “put it back”. He refuses, and she leans over and begins wrestling the bar out of his hand, she wins. As she places the bar back on the shelf, while offering the child an explanation on why he shouldn’t take things without permission, the child erupts in a scream as he begins stomping his feet on the floor. The mother looks embarrassed and confused as her head lowers to the floor. Then, after about ten seconds of feet stomping and screaming, she reluctantly hands the child the candy bar, then she hands the cashier an identical candy bar to scan.

With modern day society becoming more informed about child abuse, most families have taken upon idealistic and impractical forms of child rearing. To the point that scenarios like the aforementioned routinely play out in stores around North America and stores around the world. It would seem that in an effort to better rear our children, a significant number of us have transitioned from one extreme to the other. Just because most of us, have resolved to not ***** our children, doesn’t mean we can no longer discipline them.

So for those of us, who have been caught unawares by our child throwing a tantrum in public, I have compiled a list of three effective parenting techniques on how to deal with such a situation.

One:     

Parenting is a twenty four hour, seven days a week job. Until your child is of age, it never ends. Clearly as the child matures, the necessity for supervision lessens.  With that being written, it is important to understand that parenting isn’t suspended once you live the home, it is an ongoing process and you need not be embarrassed by your child’s antics. After all you are not the one throwing the tantrum, your child is, however what you do in response is a reflection of your parenting. If you find yourself in public with an unruly child who belongs to you, simply make certain that your child is safe and nothing out of the ordinary is happening to him or her.

Two:     

After you have checked to make sure your child is safe, the next step is for you to do nothing.  That’s right, nothing. So long as your child is not destroying property, just continue to make sure your child is safe and then carry one with your business at hand. If anyone tries to interfere by giving your child something you denied your child, (i.e., candy bar) kindly tell them that you appreciate their help but that this is a private matter.

Three:

Exercise empathy, it probably isn’t a good idea to take your child to the nearest restroom for spanking, or wait till you both “get home” for armageddon to commence. Understand that what your child is going through is an egotistical cognitive process we have all gone through as small children, in order to exert our power in a strange new world. Also, by not giving in to your child but still being caring, you are killing two birds with one stone. You are role modeling to your child on how to effectively and humanly resolve most conflicts, and you are also teaching your child that the world doesn’t evolve around him or her.

Ugo Uche MS., LPC

Road 2 Resolutions (Professional Counseling & Services)

Ask The Internet Therapist

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