How to Discipline Your Child

Description

Make a Difference During the Most Important Years of Your Child's LifeThe months leading up to the birth of a child are filed with joy, dreams, plans—and a few worries. As a caring parent, you want to start your child out in life on the proper foundation. But where do you go for the answers to such questions as: How do I communicate with an infant who doesn't understand words? How can I effectively teach boundaries to my toddler? Should I ever spank my child?Over the years, millions of parents just like you have come to trust Jane Nelsen's classic Positive Discipline series. These books offer a commonsense approach to child-rearing that so often is lacking in today's world. In Positive Discipline: The First Three Years, you'll learn how to use kind but firm support to raise a child who is both capable and confident. You'll find practical solutions and solid advice on how to:•Encourage independence and exploration while providing appropriate boundaries •Use non-punitive methods to instill valuable social skills and positive behavior inside and outside the home •Recognize when your child is ready to master the challenges of sleeping, eating, and potty training, and how to avoid the power struggles that often come with those lessons •Identify your child's temperament •Understand what the latest research in brain development tells us about raising healthy children •And much, much more!Containing real-life examples of challenges other parents and caregivers have faced, Positive Discipline: The First Three Years is the one book that no parent should be without.

Reviews

Did everyone else who reviewed this book actually read it???

by H. King from Decatur, GA, USA on 2006-04-06
First of all, let me say that nowhere in this book do the authors advocate weaning by twelve months or letting a baby "cry it out," as some reviewers claimed. If it did, I would have put it down right away in the bookstore and not bought it. If it seemed to clash with Attachment Parenting, a style I am fond of and have used for most of my daughter's nearly three years, I also would have been less inclined to read it. But it doesn't do any of those things. As far as nursing, it merely encourages mothers to watch their children for signs of readiness to wean, instead of forcing a pre-determined schedule for weaning (whether it be at three months or three years). I know several people whose children weaned themselves around one year, so I think there is some truth to the idea that some babies are ready to wean then. I personally nursed my daughter until just over two, so I am not biased against extended nursing. And neither are the authors--they just say to find resources such as La Leche League and other books to discuss nursing, weaning, and extended nursing further. This is not their area of expertise, and they do not claim it to be. As far as Attachment Parenting (AP), this book makes no reference to it, period. Some reviewers have said that it is pro-AP and some said it is against-AP. I can't find evidence of either. As I said, I raised my daughter so far strongly guided by the principles of AP. However, she is almost three, and I feel that I need some other philosophies to guide me in my choices. I have not read The Discipline Book by Dr. Sears, but from what I hear it is like most of his books and a bit repetitive of information in all of his books (many of which I have read). I needed a new approach, so I came to the Positive Discipline camp. To quote the book, "The key is a balance that meets the needs of everyone concerned. A baby should not be left in a playpen or infant seat too long, and a parent should not feel like a slave to his or her child." Furthermore, they say, "When in doubt, always trust your heart." Now how does this conflict with Attachment Parenting? I personally felt like a slave to my child many times when strictly following the guidelines of AP. I am not at all of the mindset that babies should toughen up or learn to soothe themselves at a young age, but there are times in life when we as parents need a break--like to shower, cook a meal, tend to another child, or go to the bathroom alone. This book helps parents find that balance. This book is very helpful in demonstrating age appropriateness. It helps to be reminded that a toddler's brain is not like ours, and that they are not capable of understanding concepts that we think they should. There are several ways the author suggests to see for yourself, and that is extremely helpful. To acknowledge this is not insulting to my or my child's intelligence (as one reviewer said); it is honoring it. Humans have extremely complex brains and it takes time to develop them. A three year old's brain is not nearly as developed as ours. Period. On the same token, we should not force infants as that reviewer said into "Infant education." That is absurd. Some parents go overboard in trying to "teach" their infants things they are not ready to understand yet. Let kids be kids. Play is a children's work. They learn through experience and discovery, not through videos, TV, flashcards or "lessons" at four hour intervals at age three. That is what the authors are saying. As far as footnotes, this book isn't written in that format. It's not supposed to be a research summary. It is a book to guide parents in disciplining their children. The authors do in fact reference researchers, which is all they need to do for this type of book. It would be helpful if reviewers of this and other books mentioned their children's ages. I can see how this would not be helpful immediately for parents of an infant. Other books are more appropriate for that age. I bought this book after hearing a lot of great things from parents whose parenting styles are similar to mine and have pleasant, well-behaved children. I have used some of the methods and strategies that the authors suggest and IT WORKS!!! I was at my wits' end with my daughter. She went through a strong testing phase and about did me in. I tried everything--time outs, removal of priveledges, and even a pop on the bottom (twice only, when she was totally out of control). Nothing worked and it all got worse. She went from having a time out once a week to three times a week to three times a day within a couple of weeks. Just as the authors say, punishment does not work. "Children do better when they feel better" they say, and when they are punished, they think to themselves, "I'm bad." Well guess what? My daughter has even said to me, "I'm bad," even though I have NEVER uttered those words or anything like it to her. And neither has anyone who has taken care of her, either. This is a judgement she came up with because she was being punished. I, however, have taken time out. The first time she had a tantrum after reading this book and using the methods (tantrums do happen, the authors say, despite our best efforts), I took a timeout and as the authors suggested I ignored her, picked up a book, and moved to a different room. She finally calmed down, I gave her a hug, did not make a big deal about it, and everything was fine. I let her know that having a tantrum was not going to get her way, nor would she be punished for showing her emotions. She got out her frustration in her tantrum, felt better, then moved onto something else. I highly recommend this book. It has saved my sanity and possibly my relationship with my daughter. I look forward to reading more from these authors.

Great for Laying a Trusting Foundation

by Kelly Hager Pfeiffer from Greenville, SC United States on 2000-04-10
This book is so helpful. It discusses why time out is not appropriate for children ages 3 and under and why children don't always understand things they way that we adults do. I'm surprised to have read in another review that this book was not helpful for young children who can't talk. I am wondering if the reviewer got this book mixed up with Nelsen, Erwin, and Duffy's other book "Positive Discipline for Preschoolers". The covers have the same colors and block style, but different titles and different info. on the inside. I can't recall any info. in any of the Positive Discipline that discusses reasoning with a child. Nelsen, Erwin and Duffy promote joint problem solving for preschoolers on a novice level in their book on preschoolers. This book promotes the importance of childproofing and supervision and explains vital child development information.

Reviews

I was disappointed with this book...

by from New Albany, IN USA on 2002-03-09
I pre-ordered this book based on the attractive cover and the names on the editorial board. I'm a big Dr. Sears fan and was very excited to see a book on positive discipline endorsed by him that focused on toddlers. Unfortunately, I was disappointed and plan to send it back. There wasn't anything I didn't agree with, but there just wasn't much substance. I typically enjoy workbook style books, but many pages were half-filled with room for notes that appeared to me to be simply filler." I just wanted more. I've since read "Redirecting Children's Behavior," by Kathryn Kvols and found it to be an excellent guide. I'm a Master's level therapist and think the book by Kathryn Kvols will be highly valuable both in my work with kids and families as well as providing me with a solid philosophy and effective techniques for parenting my son now as a young toddler through to the teenage years. Even though I found no fault with the content of this book, (and still love Dr. Sears) I would not recommend this book.

Description

In this now-classic, straightforward approach to childraising, Nancy Samalin shows parents how to set clear, concise guidelines to ensure positive and constructive discipline. Based on her extensive work with parents and children, she offers the most recent and invaluable advice on: * Avoiding daily battles * Using alternatives to punishment * Dealing with anger * Learning to let go * Diminishing sibling rivalries and much, much more. Filled with practical solutions to everyday problems and thoughtful, useful information on opening up communication between the generations, Loving Your Child Is Not Enough will help parents to truly enjoy their child's growing years. * Nancy Samalin is a contributing editor to Parents magazine with a regular column on discipline. * Available on audiocassette from Penguin*HighBridge Audio

Reviews

I Constantly Recomend This Book To My Clients

by Daphne J. Schuster from Long Island, New York on 2000-03-27
As a practicing Marriage and Family Psychotherapist and former elementary school principal, I must have read hundreds of books on how to discipline children effectively. However, the problem with many of them is that the emphasis is generally on how to get children to behave cooperatively, rather than on how to raise emotionally healthy, happy, responsible children who know how think for themselves. Nancy's book is the best match I've seen for the methods that therapists believe are most effective in developing high self-esteem in kids. The author helps parents and teachers understand that, by treating children with dignity and respect and listening to their feelings,our kids will WANT to do the 'RIGHT THING'. Loving Your Child Is Not Enough is written in clear, easy-to-read chapters filled with examples we all can relate to. I often recommend that busy moms and dads buy the cassette version and listen and talk about it, and I frequently use Nancy's explanations in describing good parenting to my clients - AND to their children! I also suggest that readers will want to read other books written by Sammalin.

Thank you Nancy for the best book on parenting ever!

by Bea Marquette from on 2000-11-12
A copy of Nancy Samalin's Loving Your Child is Not Enough should be handed to every new parent. In a perfect world, it would be required reading for all parents. Nancy shows us the way to stress free parenting where everyone's self esteem remains intact and results abound. I have learned to rethink my responses in situations that would previously have been governed by anger or frustation. Now I can react with humor and common sense. No more lectures or belittling. I use Nancy's methods in my classroom where I am surrounded by happy children who love school. I offer Nancy's books to parents who come to me with questions about parenting. I strongly recommend this book to everyone who is a parent searching for advice on how to raise children with love, compassion and wisdom. Thank you Nancy for the best book on parenting ever!

Description

This book discusses what's the relationship between selfesteem and student achievement? Find the answers to this and other questions in this book.

Reviews

Excellent, Enlightening, Powerful.

by Kesha Richardson from Atlanta on 2007-10-29
I am the mother of 3 young boys and I am so glad that I found this book when I did. It is an excellent read for parents and concerned teachers, administrators, etc. who want to better understand how to nurture, protect and educate our children. It is also enlightening as it deals with our current public school systems and gives profound advice on how to counteract the challenges that many a mother and father are facing. It is also easy to understand and interpret and gives researchable information. What I also like about this book is that it is not inundated with heavy technical terms. While it is very intelligent, it is in plain black and white English. Also, the charts and comparisons are wonderful. I would recommend this book to any parent whose priority is the education of their children. Kudos to Dr. Kunjufu!

Positive Black Images

by Floretta O'brien from NYC on 2006-11-10
An excellent read and a must have for all African-American families. The book guides parents and others in our community on ways to navigate through a system that is not geared for the positive growth and development of our children. It gives us positive ways to overcome this system without condemning the system itself. Dr. Kunjufu is to be congratulated for producing another valuable tool for African-American families.